the tendency is in the middle

I was having an icecream that afternoon at work and was listening to a conversation my colleagues had. 

They talked about some new hype things as spotify and I had a revelation. About my middle position in everything.

I've been using spotify for ten months now and heard about it the first time two years ago. I'm observing the facebook posts of my friends and work mates and am bored to see the funny viral twitter video or something that I've already watched/listened to etc. 

They are now discovering twitter and have already heavily adopted facebook, flickr and some blogs. 

Well, I have been writing a blog from early 2006 and have been using twitter for more than a year now. 

And that's the tragedy - my middleness ( I dread to call it mediocrity).

I definitely am ahead of my primar field of connections but way behind the evangelists, pioneers and real geeks. I am bored at parties where everyone is discussing aplusk, the power of the quiz @facebook and the impact of the online reputation but I won't feel well at a high level geek discussion group. I have never hacked a site, it took me ages to put some content online. 

And the terrible thing is that this is not about internet and IT only. An example: I studied business administration but work in an online department. I can make basic websites and have a notion of EBIT and M&A but that was it. 

I studied abroad and am foreigner now in my own country and a foreigner where I live.

And in my privat life. Im kind of party and cool but then very moral and disciplined. Im too friendly to my male friends so they are not really only soulmates but not my boyfriends either. 

My greatest passion music: I can play the guitar but not very well, and I have the 10 x knowledge of my girlfriends about music but still am nothing in comparison to some high fidelity kind of guy. 

I guess I just want it all and still am not decided where I want to belong to. But realizing it is a good starting point: )

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